Recreating the Golden Hour
Average read time: 6 minutes
How to recreate that “golden hour'“ with your baby at home.
I recently supported a postpartum family as they transitioned out of the NICU. I knew their birth doula well, who had permission to tell me about the labor before the family actually came home, so I knew that the baby had been taken away from his mama right at birth. They had almost no time to meet, let alone get that sacred “golden hour” that is so beautiful for babies and their parents. Their birth doula suggested that I re-create the “golden hour” once the family got home. This suggestion was a beautiful one.
While I have been supporting postpartum families for a while now, this was my first job with a family who never got their golden hour right after birth. As a birth doula myself, I know just how important that first hour (or two, if you can squeeze it out of the hospital!) can be for families. Generally, that golden hour is meant to provide a specific opportunity for babies to adjust as gently as possible to their new lives earthside. Baby is placed directly on the birthing person’s chest, skin-to-skin, and parents and baby get to stare, touch, lick, hear and smell one another. Baby knows their family already - they’ve been hearing their voices through the womb, they’ve been smelling their parent’s amniotic fluid, and they’ve been growing in a safe place this whole time! And, in that first hour, baby is experiencing so many new things! They can use their eyes for the first time, they are breathing with their nose and lungs for the first time, they are feeling air for the first time! Having that precious hour of time, skin-to-skin, can help make that adjustment to life as tender as possible.
However, I know that sometimes golden hour might not happen. This can be for a wide variety of reasons, both medical or hospital protocol. Not getting that golden hour can be very anxiety-inducing for families, especially because many childbirth spaces (books, social media, classes, etc.) really stress just how important golden hour is for the baby, the birthing parent, and for initial latching and nursing.
So what can you do if, for whatever reason, you don’t get the golden hour you desired? Below, I’ve created a list of ideas, with short descriptions, so that you can pick and choose to tailor golden hour to you and your family while you plan it at home.
What makes you feel safe? - As you plan your golden hour, focus on what makes your oxytocin (remember, that’s the love hormone!) go up, and your cortisol (your stress hormone) go down. What makes you feel safe? Do things that will help you create that feeling of safety for you and for your family. Each person has a unique answer to this question, so really think about your individual answers as you plan this time for yourself.
Everyone skin-to-skin - Think about who you want in the space, and how you want to spend that time. If there are two parents, maybe each parent gets one-on-one time with baby, maybe you all go in together, or maybe you do a combo of both. No matter who is participating, skin-to-skin is a beautiful thing for everyone involved. Evidence shows that skin-to-skin can regulate body temperature, blood pressure, and blood sugars, not to mention just how spectacularly soft a baby’s skin is! That skin-to-skin promotes the body to create oxytocin - the love hormone. Just what everyone needs! <3
Talk to baby - This can be a really nice time to talk to your baby about specific topics that feel important to you. You can really introduce yourself to your baby, going in depth on what feels important for them to get to know you. Share your likes, hobbies and interests. Share your values, your hopes and dreams, and what life you’re excited to build with them. Or talk to them about nothing and everything! That vibration of your voice can be so soothing for your baby, and something they’re already used to from listening to you from the inside!
Timing - You’ll get to know your baby and their cues as you navigate bringing your baby home from the hospital. Use that knowledge to your advantage! Is there a witching hour situation you’re dealing with in the evening? Are you not a morning person? Plan to do your golden hour in a time when both you and baby are relatively calm. That might mean starting golden hour with a feed, so that baby is sleeping and full throughout the process. You may have to change a diaper or two during your golden hour time, and that’s totally OK! The time is flexible and serves the primary purpose of bonding you together. That can take many forms.
Candles - Low lights can be relaxing and reduce stress, so instead of having your overhead lights on, turn them off and opt for candles! I carry LED candles in my doula bag, so there’s no risk of fire, but find candles that suit you! If you’re a smells person, maybe focus on candles that bring a calming aromatherapy to the space.
Clean sheets and space - If possible, change the sheets and tidy up around the room before starting golden hour. I especially recommend this for people who know that clutter or things on the ground will distract them from the purpose of this golden hour. Putting clean sheets on your bed before getting in can feel like a nice, quick reset.
Food - For me, food is comfort. Before starting your golden hour, maybe plan though a delicious meal you’re going to eat at the end of your hour. Putting something in a crockpot, or to boil on the stove, just something that can make the house smell delicious, will help create that cozy, homey feeling as you cuddle your babe.
Smells - Instead of the smell of food, you can also think of what essential oils and smells will make your space cozy. Lavender can be super relaxing, as can eucalyptus. Put on an essential oil diffuser, spray some smells on your bed, or light incense to help make the smells around you exactly what you want them to be.
Remember, bonding with your baby will take place throughout your lives together. And, creating a time for this golden hour to live can be a really special memory for you and your family, and can be really healing. Make it special and make it your own.
Looking for additional information or support? Don’t hesitate to reach out if you’d like to brainstorm further!
PS: If you’re in Chicago, I’m also ALWAYS happy to come and cook for people as they do their golden hours :) .
